Family Love

Good morning, Church!

A woman was surprised at church one day when another woman, who had often disregarded or even ignored her, went out of her way to give her a big hug before the service. She wondered what had initiated her change of heart, I was not there only for 2 weeks Sunday service. She got her answer at the end of the service when the pastor instructed, “Your assignment for next week is the same as last week. I want you to go out there and love somebody you just can’t stand.”

If loving others were only as easy as giving a hug to someone you don’t like, we all could excel in love. Just hug them and move on! But, love is a bit more difficult than that. It requires continual effort and hard work, because at the heart of loving others is putting the other person ahead of you, and that is always a huge battle. Our default mode is to revert back to selfishness, not to love. For this reason, Christ has given us these 2 great commandments. So, if u all can recollect, we started of 2 weeks back with God’s love where we saw God’s love and how he loved us UNCONDITIONALLY and we then moved on to look at what does bible talks about Self-love. Where we learnt that there is nothing as self-love which bible talks about rather it always insists or to put it in this way God wants us to love others as ourselves. Alright, now this week we will be continuing this aspect of how the love can be there amongst our own Family.

Love and Family

When God created the concept of a family, he simultaneously gave us an extraordinary gift and an extraordinary challenge. Family requires an unshakable commitment to each other even when everyone involved is intimately aware of each other’s flaws. When we talk about Love, it is impossible to skip this verse.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

These words are not just a poetic description of love; they also represent a very practical road map to guide our family in the right direction. Let us take a moment and break this verse and explore what it exactly has to looks like in our family.

• Love is patient and kind, so be patient and kind with each other.
• Love is not boastful or proud, so refuse to allow the poison of pride to taint our relationships.
• Love does not dishonour, so don’t look down on the fellow members of our own family.
• Love is not self-seeking, so choose to put our family’s needs ahead of our own.
• Love is not easily angered, so allow no place for spite or aggression in our home.
• Love keeps no record of wrongs, so allow grace and forgiveness to flow freely.
• Love rejoices with the truth, so refuse to deceive or keep secrets from each other.
• Love always protects and perseveres, so never give up on each other.

A family is masterfully designed to provide support, encouragement, accountability, love, and a place to call home. It fills the most crucial human needs. God’s ultimate plan for family reaches beyond just the physical into the spiritual. He has created a family that will last forever, and the Bible has a lot to say about how it looks and how we can and should be a part of it.

Jesus never intended for his followers to be identified by how they look or how well to do they are or by the stickers on their cars (My Grace is sufficient for you; Jesus loves u; Jesus Died for u; etc.,) The DNA of God’s family is simply love. We must have a love for God and for each other. That’s how the world will know we’re part of God’s family.

John 13:34-35 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples if you love one another.”

In the beginning, God established the family as the first of all human relationships. From that family, God built society. The family is still the foundational unit of society. But from then on till now, the enemy has been working hard trying to destroy the family that God created. From the temptation of Adam and Eve, the jealousy that filled one brother’s heart and caused Cain to kill Abel; Jacob cheating Esau; Joseph being tried to get killed by his own brothers; enemy has been working constantly to crush the time-honoured institution of the family. So, we need to love our families.

The problem is how to keep this love alive and growing, for love requires constant attention. Unless it is nourished by constant care, like a plant without water it will wither and die. It’s not a lumpsum investment rather it’s an SIP. Each of us should re-double our efforts to ensure that our families are all that they should be. Husbands and wives have a God-given obligation to love one another and to submit to one another for the glory of God. Parents have a God-given obligation to create a home that allows their children to become all they have been designed by the Lord to be.

Since the family is to live together in unity and oneness for the good of all, love must be present at all times. Where there is no love, there can be a family, and if there is, it cannot be a successful, progressing and profiting family. The home is the foundation of learning and love. Here, parents help children overcome the natural tendencies to be selfish that is rooted in everyone, and to put on love which is patterned after Christ. Showing love for our own parents is also important to nourishing love in our families. We cannot expect our children to love and respect us if we do not show them that we love and respect our own parents. Loving our parents is necessary not only in nurturing family love and unity, but in loving God.

There was a small family – father, mother, son and mother of the father. The Grandmom become sick as she grew old and almost become bed ridden. The Time spent with her by the fellow family members were gradually reduced and one fine day she also passed away. As the funeral was going on, they decided to clear off all her belongings also on the same time. They found almost everything of her, but they couldn’t find that special broken ugly plate in which they use to give food for her. They searched everywhere but no luck, and when the grandson asked what are you searching for? Dad replied we are looking for Grandmom’s plate. To Dad’s surprise, he said I only have taken and kept it safely in my cupboard, as when u grow old, I would need the same.

Make a conscious decision to love each other using God’s definition of love. Allow your family to be led by love, and you’ll always be headed in the right direction.

Guard our Family in Love

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.

First, we must guard our families against the temptations that destroy the family. We must guard against the temptation to love ourselves over loving others and the love of God.

Selfish love robs our families of peace. When in a family, the members are looking out only for themselves, no one wins.

No one is encouraged; No one is edified; No one else is loved. The family begins to destroy itself from within. We also need to guard against ungrateful and unworthy family members. We also need to guard against being too busy. We need to make time for each other. There needs to be time when we just have time together, just to enjoy each other’s company, talk with each other, share each other’s burdens.

We must guard the marriage covenant. When the marriage fails, it hurts the family, no matter who is responsible.

Ephesians 5:22-25 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

Sometimes simple friendships between a man and a woman transform into something more when left unchecked. And it goes both ways — for both the husband and the wife. For this reason, we must be careful to have safe friendships with the opposite gender. Wives should not be spending time with men, other than their husband, father, or brother, unless one or more people are present. Men, the same thing goes for us too. Do not travel in a car alone with a woman. Do not spend time alone with other women, unless other people are present. Sound old fashioned? Maybe. Safe? Absolutely. Do not put yourselves in the situation to be compromised.

Defend the family

The best way to do that is make sure that your family is built on the Rock, that is Jesus.

Luke6:48 They are like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built.

When our families are built on the solid rock, the attacks of the world — the attacks of enemy on our families — will not shake us nor our foundation. We may experience some temporary storm damage, but with God’s help, all can be restored. Have no doubt that enemy is still working in the world today to attack and destroy the time-honoured, God ordained institution of the family. The family unit is under attack from every side, so let us build our family on a solid faith, trust, and love of God above.

Love and Parenting

Proverbs 22:6 – Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it

Educate the Children – The word “nurture” has the idea of “the whole education of the child.” It refers to the daily discipline of verbal instruction in the ways of life and the ways of the Lord. We are to see to it that our children learn all that they need while they are under our care. Then, when they leave the nest and enter the word; they will be prepared for the things they will face.

Encourage the Children – There are times when we must give them direction in life. There are times when we must give them encouragement. And there are times when we must give them discipline. All of these things are used by the wise parents; in the right measure to help their children become the men and women God designed them to be.

Evangelize the Children – All of this Educate & encourage are to be “of the Lord.” We are to build and train them in the Word of God, not our opinions, our preferences or our prejudices. When we teach our children to believe like we do, they will be as messed up as we are. When we train them in the things of the Lord, they will grow up and live lives that glorify and honour God.

Ephesians 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.

Children are told to “obey” their parents. This word means “to submit to, to comply with, and to follow directions and instructions.” This means that a child is to listen to the voice of his or her parents attentively and they are to respond to what they hear with perfect submission. They are to do as they are told. This obedience in the home lays the foundation for obedience throughout life. They are learning to obey the other voices of authority, school, government, etc., that will become part of their lives later on. Ultimately, they are learning to walk in obedience to the Lord when they walk in obedience to their parents. When the commands of a parent contradict the clear teachings of the Bible; the child, just like anyone else, has an obligation to put the Lord and His will first. Of course, this truth runs through every area of life. No parent, no spouse, no authority figure in our lives has the right to command us to do something illegal, immoral or that contradicts the Word of God. We are to always place God and His will ahead of the will of others.

We should know what children are being taught. In schools, at all levels, from elementary to high school to college, theories and world views are taught that are in direct opposition to the word of God. Unchecked, our children become influenced with ideas and ideologies that put families at opposition with each other — ideologies that are against the teachings of the Bible that we hold — ideologies that are designed to tear down the family values to which we ascribe. Do not take that lightly.

Have open lines of communication in the family. Let family be the place where thoughts and concerns can be shared without judgment. Families that communicate openly and honestly with each other are stronger, the bonds between the members are stronger, and the roots of the family are deeper, helping them to withstand the winds and storms of attacks.

In this digital age, set age appropriate and Biblical limits and boundaries on electronic gadgets and access to the internet. Most Importantly, ensure that we come to church together and worship together as a family. This is how we keep our family on the rock. Worshipping together as a family shows our children the importance of family, of worship, of God, of community. Worshipping together allows us to talk about the study of Scripture. Worshipping together builds a bond. Worshipping together is time spent together. Then, let the worship go home with us and become part of our family’s routine. Spend time in prayer and in the Word together.

There is a story of a man being outside on a warm, summer night and noticing the lights in the sky. He noticed the moon and the stars and the lights from a distant factory down the road, but then all of those big lights were disappeared as a new light that captured his full attention. A lightning bug lit up right by his face, and that little firefly was all he could see.

In that moment he realized that there are all kinds of lights (outside influences) competing for the attention of his kids, and if he wanted to be the biggest influence in his kids’ lives, he didn’t have to be the biggest or the brightest. He just had to be the closest!

It’s the same for all of us. Howard Hendricks has wisely stated, “You can impress people from a distance, but you can only impact them from being close!”

There will always be impressive-looking forces trying to be the primary influence on our kids, but we can make the biggest impact by simply staying close to our sons and daughters. Make quality (and quantity) time with them a priority. Refuse to let outside influences pull them in the wrong direction. Give them a solid foundation of faith and love and know that even though we are all imperfect parents, we have a perfect heavenly Father who is by our side through it all.

The Evaluation of Love in the Family

The family that God has given to us is a built-in support system if we allow it to be. The family is a blessing from God. The family is a time-honored institution that God ordained at the beginning of time. Today, we must support each other, protect each other, and most importantly love each other.

Are families perfect? Absolutely not. Do we have room to grow? Absolutely so.

For the love of family, we must do whatever we can to ensure that our families are built on God, are full of love for each other and protected from the attacks of the world around us.

As a way of learning how to nourish and express the love we feel for the members of our families, we might ask ourselves the following questions:

1. Do I really listen to each family member? To be truly listened to is to feel loved. Do I listen to friends, neighbours, and co-workers more readily than to the most important people in my life —the members of my family? Do the concerns of my family receive as much of my attention as the concerns of others? Do I make time to listen to the members of my family regularly?
2. Do I spend time with each family member? Developing love, harmony, and unity in a family takes time.
3. Do I help each family member feel needed? To feel useful and appreciated is a basic human need. We can help family members fulfil this need by giving them opportunities to help us and then letting them know that we appreciate their help.
4. Do I have the pure love of Christ as described in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8?

For the love of our families, we must protect them, cherish them, and love them with all that we have. We must stand against the powers of the world that are working to destroy our families, by ensuring that our family is built on the Rock, that is Jesus.

No matter whatever may come, whatever may pass; whatever may happen; we still love our family and keep building it on this rock, Jesus. Only through him and in him we can find this love that can keep us grow and be successful.

This morning, maybe your family is completely dysfunctional. Maybe you are struggling with maintaining a family that is God-centred. Maybe you are seeking ways to strengthen your family.

The answer is found in this love that God has for us. It’s the place where we all start — recognizing that we all make mistakes — that we all sin — and despite that, God still loves us.

This morning, maybe you need to feel that love — to give up your burdens of sin — to surrender your life to Him. Today is the day to start over. Maybe you need prayer for your family. Today is the day to confess your brokenness with the family of God — to entrust the family of God with your pain — and allow us to carry your burdens alongside you.

No matter what the need, the church, the family of God is here to support, encourage, and strengthen your family today. Take a step of faith and allow God to move in your life today.

Paul worships at Renewed Hope Community. The Renewed Hope Community is situated in the heart of the city between Old and New Panvel. We can confidently share that Renewed Hope Community is a Church in Kamothe, Church in Khandeshwar, Church in Khanda Colony, Church in Karanjade, Church in Panvel, Church in New Panvel, Church in Karanjade because we are centrally located and these places surround our church Venue.